Feeding Frenzy It's Contagious

The future

2006-03-17T10:34:26Z

This is Char.
Didn't I say we'd be OK?
All the misunderstandings from the past would work themselves out and that everyone would get happy eventually.

Apart from the absolute haters who will always try and force themselves into our lives, not mentioning any names, we are finally getting better again.

What with the flat and all, and especially now that the things with the friends is coming to a close through all of your and their efforts, by the way, everything will get better.

At least all the people who weren't worth the effort are now completly out of everything and we're still standing ^_^ Don't take shit off people who cause you pain anyway!

I love you hunny, forever x

Stoled.

2006-02-12T13:03:40Z

My Chemical Romance - x Taking Back Sunday - x The Used - x Muse - x Nirvana - x Brand New - x Thursday - x Green Day - x Bright Eyes Incubus - x Weezer Snow Patrol - x AFI - x The Strokes Nine Inch Nails AC/DC Sex Pistols The Ramones Motion City Soundtrack The Clash Phantom Planet Sugarcult - x Lostprophets - x The Postal Service The Shins The Walkmen Maroon 5 - x Rooney The Killers - x Box Car Racer - x From First To Last Thrice - x Hawthorne Heights Senses Fail Anti-Flag Chevelle Sum 41 Blink 182 - x coldplay Bjork Plain White T's Death Cab for Cutie - x The Vines Action Action At The Drive-In - x The Mars Volta - x Interpol The Hives Hot Hot Heat Black Flag The Arcarde Fire - x The White Stripes Modest Mouse UnderOath Audioslave The Stills The Thrills Doves Fall Out Boy - x The Bravery Kaiser Chiefs - x Head Automatica Pencey Prep Beastie Boys The Rasmus Hellogoodbye Spoon Queens of the Stone Age - x The Doors Kings of Leon Unearth Avenged Sevenfold - x 36 Crazyfists The Get Up Kids - x Straylight Run - x The Promise Ring - x The Beatles Led Zeppelin - x The Smiths The Academy Is... - x Punchline Gym Class Heroes Letter Kills Atreyu Deftones Korn Good Charlotte Simple Plan Bleed the Dream Steriogram Rides Again Bad Religion A change of pace New Found Glory MxPx Out Of Your Mouth The All American Rejects - x The Ataris - x Mineral - x Sublime - x Louis Prima Tegan and Sara The Violent Femmes Sparta Gorillaz Tuesday Weld The Chemical Brothers McFly Bitch Alert Pixeltan Showbread Le Tigre Soundgarden - x Red Hot Chili Peppers - x 12 stones Something Corporate - x Jacks Mannequin Minus The Bear Against Me! Saves The Day - x Screeching Weasel All-Time Quarterback Jimmy Eat World - x Leo, Ted, and the Pharmacists Queen Rilo Kiley Motley Crue The Aquabats Alkaline Trio - x Iron and Wine The Transplants - x Everclear Eisley No Doubt Blondie HIM A Small Victory Bayside Tool Metallica fuck yess - x Faction Strike Anywhere Breaking Benjamin - x Pretty Girls Make Graves Oasis Mae Depeche Mode Her Space Holiday The Casualties Aerosmith From Autumn to Ashes A Static Lullaby Lola Ray Kashmir Madison Dallas Green Hanson Rammstein - x System of a Down - x Dashboard Confessional - x Switchfoot - x Matchbook Romance 3 Doors Down - x Backstreet Boys The Juliana Therory Brad Paisley Kenny Chesney Lifehouse Train Vertical Horizon Misfits The Spill Canvas June The Juice Busted Relient K Thousand Foot Klutch Spitalfield Less Than Jake Mest Powerman 5000 The Early November Bedlight for blueeyes Nural Foo Fighters - x Billy Idol The Decemberists The Who Panic! At The Disco - x Savage Garden - x Pixies The Music - x Coheed and Cambria - x Vendetta Red OdESSA Story of the Year Yellowcard Goo Goo Dolls - x Bowling For Soup Franz Ferdinand Son OF Dork Wakefield ThisShotgunKiss Killswitch Engage - x After The Fall Be Your Own Pet The Subways The Kooks Sleater-Kinney Radiohead - x Metric SET FIRE TO FAILURE The Von Bondies Garbage The Bled Bring Me the Horizon Saosin Billy Talent - x Zebrahead Genesis Cky Socratic Bullets and Octane Jenoah Red Lipstick Letter Northstar Pepper Goldfinger Copeland Colour Of Fire Auditory Aphasia Bullet for my Valentine - x The Proclaimers Iron Maiden InMe - x

Hola

2006-02-08T21:45:39Z

Hey all.

This week has been wierd, everything that has happened between a certain few people and me has just made me feel angry.

One of them phoned me up this week at quarter to fucking 3 in the morning and asked if I was coming out I said no because I was working at half 8 and then they had the ordacity to get mad at me.

Why do people do it?

Why do people just make things worse after they hace died down? Writing "Twat" on my Dads car tying up the wing mirrors in chain fencing to the floor. These were the people at one point I called my brothers. Where are they now? When I need them the most? They are causing my grief, as opposed to helping me out.

And you know what? I don't care anymore. For the past 6 months I havn't needed them, and they sure as hell havn't needed me. So why drag it up again?

Why are people so oblivious to the pain they cause?

Wow

2006-02-02T12:18:30Z

Hola all you lovely people who read this (HaHaHaHa!!!)

It has been a while, lets begin the update

Got all the stuff sorted for the London trip:
Discounts flight tickets - Check
Hotel - Check
Give it a name weekend tickets - Check

Now all I need os for April to hurry its ass up and get here

Finally get to see alot of my favorite bands
MCR
TBS
The Ataris (HA! Got you Day :P)
P!ATD
Hundred Reasons :D:D:D:D
Goldfinger
Aiden
Thrice
Billy Talent
Lost Prophets

Ahhh! I'm Home :D

New Years Resolutions

2006-01-04T16:36:13Z

Shame....

A new year. Just as I was getting used to 2005...

Ah well has been a crazy mo fuckin' year. I wont go into detail as to how, 'cos most of it is on here.

People keep asking if I have made any new years resolutions and as I keep telling them, I havn't. Wanna know why?????

Because last year I made a resolution to sort my life out, look where that got me :P. Nah, it's cos they are pointless, no need to make up some crazy resolutions that you know your gonna break in five minutes anyway.

Anyway....

To this year, what do I hope to achieve...
I hope to be able to drive by early 2007
I hope that on my 18th I will be pissed, I also hope that the people that I hurt last year, can be there.
I hope that I am a better person than I have been
I hope that people can forgive me for the way I have acted

Past

2005-12-12T11:49:00Z

Again looking back at my LJ and I can't believe how much I have let go, good friends..family, thats what we were...family and i threw it all away waht the fuck did i do

ash_16 @ 2005-12-07T20:29:00

2005-12-07T20:38:22Z

Guys - I apologise for writing about all of you on my LJ, but I'm not gonna apologise for what I said, because this is how I feel, sure I shoulda told you myself and I am sorry for that, but I still have no reason to apologise over the last few months and I know your all gonna be reading this and thinking how much of a twat I am, and I can now accept that (Hell, I probably am) this has gone on far too long and we all know that so when I come to machine WITH CHARLOTTE, we make a choice, we decide whether it was really worth arguing for nothing or whether we just do our seperate thing and get on with our lives. We talk about it without bitching, without spitefulness, without any of the hating (and I'm not talking about just you guys with those comments im talking about me aswell) and we do it peacefully, cause I am willing to resolve this if you are

today was fun. I missed you all.

Hello

2005-12-02T11:01:09Z

I got a text last night...not sure if was meant to scare me, threaten me or was just a random text of congratulation.

If you think I am going to take back what I said guys, your wrong. I would say it to your face if I could.

Contenplative

2005-11-29T22:41:47Z

I dunno what kidna mood I am in tonight.

I guess I am kinda missing my old life, my old friends.

But then again, I'm looking forward to what is going to happen with my life, I mean..I survived this far, didn't I? Things didn't stop me that much did they?

I dunno........

I doubt I ever will

So......Tired

2005-11-28T20:22:13Z

Started my three days off today, not a day to soon.

Got a lift home with Hannah yesterday, that was fun. Looking forward to the 16th December so much havn't seen Calcia play in aaaaaages.

Been trying to sort out a hall for my new band to play in so far with no sucess, i really want this to work out i missed playing in a band so much.

well speak to yas all soon

Peace.
~Ash~

There's always someone fucking hanging on...

2005-11-19T13:28:01Z

Hello All

I have been feeling very angsty recently (with my last few posts anyway). But from here on now i am not gonna let anything drag me down not even myslef (which happens alot). I promise to get my life sorted, which is why I am gonna get courses done for my GCSE's and a mode of transport, maybe a scooter but not one the crappy chav ones, the shexshy little Italian ones.

I got tired of feeling down on myself, and rejecting any help I got offered, it reminded me of a year or so ago and the Hazel thing. so here is a few personal messages:

Mark, Nick, Jay (and anyone else who wanted to get involved): You may think what you want, you may think that i am an asshole, a jerk, a dickhead, you may think that the only reason i am with char is for sex, you may think that i am blowing you off for her. here is the truth of the matter, I am growing up, and no matter how you feel your not gonna stop me getting on with my life, and as far as i am concearned this is not my fault, i have done nothing worng, and if you expect an apology anytime soon, i am afraid you are going to be sorely dissapointed. you were the ones who bought it up and if you were any kind of friends you wouldn't of got angry you would of supported me like others did. and even if your not, I am still gonna be here for you, cos even if i am not yours, you are still my brothers.

Those that did support me: thank you, you helped me get through alot of things, and i promise i am going try and give you more of my time and attention. you are all truely amazing to be putting up with me, and i hope i get to see you all soon, cos i do miss you, i really do miss the days we used to spend doing nothing but chill and talk about any thing and everything.

Char: I know you are going through a hell of a time at the moment and i just want you to know i love you, and i am always gonna be here for you whether it hurts other people or not, cos you are my angel and my soulmate.

Peace.
~Ash~

ash_16 @ 2005-10-25T11:37:00

2005-10-25T10:51:51Z

All These Things (Revolve Around Me)

Once more I’ll say goodbye to you
Things happen but we don’t really know why
If it's supposed to be like this
Why do most of us ignore the chance to miss?
Oh yeah

Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears
I'm not feeling this situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when your feeling like

Me (me!)
Yeah (yeah!)
All these things I hate revolve around me (me)
yeah (yeah)
Just back up before I snap

Once more you tell those lies to me
Why cant you just be straight up with honesty? (honesty)
When you say those things in my ear
Why do you always tell me what you wanna hear? (wanna hear...)
Oh yeah

Wear your heart on your sleeve make things hard to believe
I'm not feeling this situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide,
It's the best place to be when your feeling like

Me (me)
Yeah (yeah)
All these things I hate revolve around me (me)
Yeah (yeah)
Just back up before I snap and you'll see (me) me (me)
All these things I hate revolve around me (me)
Yeah (yeah)
Just back up before I snap

Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears
I’m not feeling this situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
Its the best place to be when your feeling like me...

Its the best place to be when you're me (me)
Yeah (yeah)

All these things I hate revolve around me (me)
Yeah (yeah)
Just back up before I snap and you see (me) me (me)
All these things I hate revolve around me (me)
Yeah (yeah)
Just back up before I snap

This song explains perfectly how I feel right now. I dunno what it is, I can only explain how I actually feel on here because I know that if I tell someone then I'll just get beaten down again and my feelings wont matter, my feelings get put on hold because I don't matter, but then again, I never have, if I did then things wouldn't be so fucked up between everyone, we would still be friends, brothers.

Yeah, people can call me selfish, ignorant, vein, pathetic, whatever, just keep shooting, eventually you will just be wasting your ammo.

History

2005-10-18T10:26:20Z

Life is a fickle thing, and is prone to so many changes.

CRHS seems like forever ago, and yet not long enough to erase the amazing memories I had there. I have grown up now, as have many of my friends, standards have changed, sacrifices made and now everything is different, and I hate it.

I Am looking at those Photos of the Record of Achievement day, and I see so many things:

Hazel and Alexx when they were going out
Dayne with Jemma
Molly Smiling
People we never use to hang out with but we did
MARTIN USHER :D
me with short hair
Mark and Jake
Chris being crushed by them
The three Borthers (the fourth is taking the photo) In Mark Nick and Me
two different groups who had combined to form one of the greatest friendships I have ever known
I see .... laughter, joy, friendship.
Everyone smiling for that brief moment, and in that brief moment we were all happy

Then you look at today. All of us in that photo split into different worlds, That summer changed us all it was the greatest summer of my young life but things are different now, things have changed, we have all grown up, moved on, and i just hope one day we can all meet up and share our lives, and still be the closest of friends.

Even if no-one from that photo reads this, i want you to now that i am sorry.

Why?

2005-10-17T07:59:12Z

Okay it may have happened a while a go, I don't know, but why the fuck would someone fuck with my user info, and I have a pretty good idea who it was, because there is only two people that know my password, me and mark. You think that's mature, cos i sure as hell don't, i will tell you what it is, its pathetic and a waste of time, as are you at the moment. Last night i kept thinking, how fucked i have made things and i need to do something about it, but now, now I realise, you guys started all this, not me, you guys said that i was leaving you behind, or fucking you off or whatever, not me. I was speaking to hannah last night, she reassured me that, despite the fact i dont have time, they were still my friends, and they always would be, see thats what should be happening, not this, brothers? brothers would never do something like this. back stabber? how did i stab you in the back, you left me, not the otherway round.

fuck you all now, cause if i have learned one thing it is this, it is times like these where you know who your real friends are. feel free to call me, shout at me, say im useless and pathetic, i wont be listening

Disconcerted

2005-10-16T20:16:37Z

I dunno what's wrong.

Things just seem to have been slowly getting worse and worse for me recently. I know. I know, I only have myself to blame for everything, whoever keeps saying that can shut the fuck up, seriously, whoever invented that phrase wanted to mess my head up something rotton.....

Anyway back to the point at hand, things are fucked, I have no idea, and when I go to turn to someone for support, I realise there is no-one because I drove everyone away. I got so caught up in my own personal problems, that I never took anytime to motice my friends around me, now it is far to late, and whoever is still talking to me is probably doing it out of sheer pity. I have ruined me life, I have ruined Char's life, and I have ruined everyone else's lives.

What the fuck have I done...

Single spark can start a spectral fire

2005-10-06T10:25:46Z

Quarantined - At The Drive In

autonomous machete for hands
warden and judge hide behind masks
wet raindrop lull
small rationing
exhumed the rhetoric of
break the weak in single file
sanction this outbreak- a virus conspires
push becomes shove, days become months
i seem to have forgotten the warmth of the sun

feeding frenzy, it's contagious
have trigger, will travel
single sparks are spectral fires

shackled the grapple and the sentinels found
binoculars watch cardboard towns
strung up in webs the net was flung
over the auditorium
slave trade the weak, no call to arms
sanction this outbreak; a virus conspires
push becomes shove, days become months
and i seem to have forgotten the warmth of the sun

a single spark can start a spectral fire
have trigger, will travel

Been Obsessed with At The Drive-In Recently, very good band :D. well anyway after working nin days on the trot i have three days off. life is still sucking slightly, and i know it is my own fault that it is happeneing, doesn't stop mefrom feeling upset. ah well, going out now to do some retail therapy cos i got paid :D, bought a laod of CD's Yesterday. Trivium, Bullet for my Valentine, and Killswitch Engage, today i am gonna buy more, a band called panic at the disco, and probably soem muse albums, well see you all later

The Science Of Breaking Down

2005-09-23T20:02:34Z

The Science Of Breaking Down *Acoustic*

Time Consumes
the very essence of what we were
and we lose
what we once held dear
we held so close to our hearts
and swore to never give it up

I'm Sorry
I'm Not coming home tonight
The Tears Fall
Your Hope is fading away

I'm Sorry
I'm Not Coming home Tonight
Nothing At All
Can Change the way things have to be

Our Friendship
Dangles on a Tight rope
Above us all
things that we once held true
just out of our own hands reach
and is threataning to fall

I'm Sorry
I'm Not coming home tonight
The Tears Fall
Your Hope is fading away

I'm Sorry
I'm Not Coming home Tonight
Nothing At All
Can Change the way things have to be

nothing can change this
and nothing can stop us
from tearing eachother apart

nothing to do but
sit and hold tight
as we fall from Grace

I'm Sorry
I'm Not coming home tonight
The Tears Fall
Your Hope is fading away

I'm Sorry
I'm Not Coming home Tonight
Nothing At All
Can Change the way things have to be

Echo

2005-09-17T11:47:56Z

Wide Eyed And
Broken Hearted
Casually Dressed
But Now Departed
What we are and
Destined to be
My Eyes Are Open
But I Can't See
I Can't see

Echoed Hope
Drowning in the Emptiness
Now I Choke
On this fucking lonliness
Look At What I've Done
now I'm Gone...
I'm Gone

"Here Lies Trust"
In The Shadows
Of Her Lust
Can you tell, it shows
Now We've Found
Something we Can Build on
Mutual Ground
I Feel Myself Being Drawn
I'm Drawn
Echoed Hope
Drowning in the Emptiness
Now I Choke
On this fucking lonliness
Look At What I've Done
now I'm Gone...
I'm Gone
Gone.....
Gone....
Echoed Hope
Drowning in the Emptiness
Now I Choke
On this fucking lonliness
Look At What I've Done
now I'm Gone...
I'm Gone

well last night and this morning prooved how much of an arse i am. i just whish everything could be okay, nothing ever will be but i just wish it was. i wish i hadnt of lost everything, and i wish there was something i can do about it. and i know its my fault that i havnt' and i know that i really should of done something sooner. hopefully things work out. hopefully.

No More Breathe Inside

2005-09-12T15:07:16Z

well its been a strange few months, ups and downs loses and gains, where to begin.

well actually i don't want to begin, i just want to say one thing. and if people read this THIS is how i truely feel:

this past couple of months has been the hradest few months of my life, i have lost one thing after another felt worse and worse, all casued by things beyond my control but guess what I AM STILL HERE no matter how many shots, no matter how hard i am gonna get hit i will just get back up and even if i have to stand alone through thick and thin i will still be here, so please feel free to take your shots feel free to push me back i will continuye to struggle on.

So Cut My Wirsts and Black My Eyes

2005-06-23T15:40:15Z

This is my first update in a while.

ermm where to begin, well i finally got a job, i am a radio control operator for euromanx *ooOOoo's from crowd) earning £122 a year, which isnt bad going, the only thing is i am working shifts and all this week i have had to get up at five in the pissing mornning, but tommorrow i get a lie in because i am working from half 1 till half nine *fuck no machine*. i have to wear a uniform although i havnt actually got it yet and i am allowed to carry sharp objects in the restricted zones :P.

ermm not much else has happened in my life, cpet my bros party went horribly wrong and Mark Nick Char and I got a taxi from the machine to castletown and we were gonna break it up but the twats who gatecrashed it had left before we got there.

pretty good few weeks will update soon.

ash_16 @ 2005-06-12T17:42:00

2005-06-12T16:52:39Z

The Music Meme:
List your 6 current favorite songs and then pick 6 people who have to do the same

1.) One-Eighty by Summer - Taking Back Sunday
2.) American HeadCharge - Riddicule
3.) Trivium - Pull Hard on the Strings of youer Martyr
4.) InMe - Seven Weeks
5.) The Used - I Caught Fire in your Eyes
6.) F4aF - Juneau

Rach, Jess, Ian, Char (if she ever comes on here :P), Will, Helen (if she sees this)

Gonna give you my love!!!

2005-06-04T08:41:29Z

ROBERT PLANT ROBERT PLANT ROBERT PLANT!!!! that was absolutly fooking amazing, he is soo good as was the guy who opened for him. now i am copying all of his albums to my puter, very kind of my father to let me do that actualy.

thats all i wanted to say speak to you guys soon.

~Ash~

Don't Let yourself down

2005-06-03T09:21:31Z

so....it dawns...Robert Plant is tonight!!!

i am really looking forward to it, it should be great fun.

so yeah anyway, i realised yesterday, that i ahve really wasted my time.
in the whole getting a job thing i mean, so from now i am gonna try my hardest, not get distracted and just go for it, tis the only way i can make everyone happy

~Ash~

Long Time No See

2005-06-01T14:41:50Z

Havn't updated about my life properly in a while so here we go

The Kelly arguement appears to have calmed down so yeah think everything is good, think all our lives have been enriched by not arguing with eachother, well i am alot happier anyway. Last time something kicked off was on My LJ with the big ass rant and that was a while ago so meh least we aint arguing pettily (if that is even a word)

Errmm. Me and Char are great!!!! we have had a rocky patch recently but i think things have smoothed out now and we can just get on with having our future :D. I just wish people could understand how much I love her, i know people keep saying that we are rushing into things but surly if we love eachother as much as we do we can do whatever we want, and if they were any kind of friend to us they would see that.

My new band!!! forgot to tell you all Innuendo broke up and now Day Chris and Myself have joined forces with Emma and Andy and we are getting on great we have a lot of originals to work on and some great covers, think we are doing well.

Mark and April are going out awwwwww how cute is that. i am glad he is happy he ahs deserved a great deal of happiness aftert the times he has had recently so i am really pleased for him, also Dee and Ali are going out they also make a cute couple....

so yeah ROLL ON TT WEEK AND ROBERT PLANT ON FRIDAY T.T is gonna be great

Catch yers all later

~Ash~

your wait is over

2005-05-30T19:38:37Z

havn't updated in a whi;e and i have forgotten most things that have happened.

so i will update on camping and how happy i am for my best mate mr o'brien and april well done guys, i love you two :P. and ali and dee lol romantic night in all really.

me and char didn't stay but we had fun while we were there, played footie against a bunch of kids and one of course.

oh yeah band practice whos idea was it to walk to the sound. have fun kiddlywinks shall update soon

~Ash~